How about them apples!

Two apples a day may keep the doctor away, but has no effect on perverts – so healthy girls be careful out there!

Nutrition scientists report that two apples a day can help reduce cholesterol by 10%.   Since I have high cholesterol, maybe I should form a new apple solution to improve my cardiovascular health.  Since my total cholesterol is around 249,   and I eat about 4 apples per day, it would lower that number by 20% to 200, and that would be fine! No Lipitor, Crestor, or other prescription medication needed?!   Now I am really thinking here.. Since it takes 10 apples to make an apple pie and i need 4 apples a day, maybe I could just eat 4/10 of a pie a day?  I hear McDonalds has a new apple pie these days  Hmm.  (And, since apple pie is President Obamas’ and Michelles’ favorite food, it will likely be endorsed by the Administration!)  Of course, in NYC, Bloomberg will only allow the small size pie to be sold!

Instead of plain apple pie, if I added this to my new Ben & Jerry’s health plan I might be able to get my cholesterol down to 155!  ;)  (Sometimes I just hope people know I am just kidding around)

Maggot(s)

Michael Moore  & Rosie O’Donnell (am I the only one that see’s the resemblence?)

But alas, we health-concious, wholesome, nutrient seeking, organic, earthy people have a big bad bug problem.   We are being overrun by maggots (on TV and in the orchards)  in this country and they too must have cholesterol issues because they are infesting the crops and ruining the flesh of  apples.  Since the growing regions have had such a warm spring (global warming obviously – not!)  it has brought an unwelcome surprise to  apple growers – the early emergence of  maggot flies. Growers are accustomed to dealing with Codling moth, the main pest of apples, but the apple maggots are more difficult to control because the female fly lays her eggs beneath the skin of developing fruit instead of on the surface, which puts them out of reach of insecticides. The developing larvae – small, cream-colored ‘maggots’ without an obvious head or legs – feed inside the fruit and their damage may not be visible until the apple is cut open.  So it is a nasty surprise at harvest time. With all the current food producing restictions, and consumers  prefering organic methods of growing fruits, it is a huge fight to kill  fruit pests and protect against diseases in the diminished or non-use of pesticide era anyway.  We have to be careful not to “organic ourselves” into starvation or malnutrition!  The main thing to do is wash your fruits and vegetables before eating them and you should be just fine, unless there are pests lurking below the surface, and then my friend – it is either crunch away or throw it away.

One man’s pest is another man’s food fest, but a Crunchy McMaggot Flurry’?

I don’t think I will be buying any of those.  But there probably is a market for it somewhere.  Heck, in Germany there is a place where you can find them on the menu.  Dishes at Espitas in Dresden include maggot ice cream, maggot salads and maggot cocktails. The restaurant is importing the “nutritious and extremely tasty” maggots from Mexico.  Now here is their marketing slogan, Frische Mexikanische Maden – Holen Sie sich Ihre Eis Hier!  ”Fresh Mexican Maggots – Get your Ice Cream Here!”  People are weird, and apparently bored.

FIG NEWTON Freak

Kendra Wilkinson Former Playboy Playmate of Hugh Hefner likes Fig Newtons but does she know what she is putting in her mouth these days?  (I wonder if her mouth is hanging open after finding out Hef is back with his runaway bride girlfriend?)  One thing for sure is that her show “Kendra on top” is inversely correlated with talent, class, or a compelling story line.  Ken-Duh  isn’t the brightest bulb on the planet, and even if she could understand the word, “entomologist” she would probably think she should schedule an appointment for a Pap and Pelvic Exam again. But, I hear she does like Fig Newtons and that is why she is here for your viewing, but not listening pleasure.

Crystal Harris on Hugh Hefner – “I is his number 1 girl again”   What does that mean?  It reminds me of the life cycle of the maggot in a way…I think Crystal is full of number 2 actually.  Back to the bugs, not what bugs me…

What is that Crunch in Your Fig Newton?  Dead Parts?

In the wild, the mutualistic relationship between figs and the fig wasps that pollinate them leads to figs full of tiny, tiny dead wasps. Cultivated figs are a different story. Most fig varieties grown in the U.S. ( mission figs, kadota figs) do not require pollination for the figs to ripen, and thus contain no wasp parts at all. Ok, at worst your fig newton might contain the completely dissolved remains of one or two tiny wasps.  That’s all.   So Kendra, and all you fig newton lovers, the next time you get a little piece of  your fig newton caught in your teeth, now you know the “rest of the story!”

Is that a bug in your teeth?  Oh, no Kendra, another big word coming!

You are what you eat!

That explains Lady Gaga, she must be eating bugs.  But, that is for another blog…

Time to bug out,

Dr. Darrin Frye, MD

We Need To Put The Squeeze on Cancer

Currently, one in 4 deaths in the United States is due to cancer. A total of 1,596,670 new cancer cases and 571,950 deaths from cancer are projected to occur in the United States in 2011!  While there seems to be some progress being made in diagnosis and genetic predictions, mortality rates remain remarkably resistant to our progress so far.  Scientists are really working hard to see how cancer cells seem to outwit us so easily, and they have just found a guy named JAK that is causing problems.

SEXY SQUISH

Zlata, 24 years old, is considered among the most extreme contortionists in the world, and may provide us with a visual demonstration on how cancer moves in our bodies.  Recently, scientists have discovered how cancer cells are able to squeeze between small spaces to spread throughout the body, thus avoiding our natural defense systems.

IT’S A TUMOR!

It turns out that a protein called JAK, is the key, and this gives cancer cells the ability to contract like a muscle and squeeze out of the tumor and move to other parts of the body.  When switched on, JAK makes cancer cells like Zleta, and they can morph like minature super bad heros and get through cracks and crevices (unlike this NY Rat below!)  We need to turn JAK off!

RAT ON (IN) CRACK IN NYC

With some types of cancers, like melanoma or other skin cancers, the cells move in two ways: by “elbowing” their way through the matrix, or by going through tunnels in the tumor formed by healthy cells.  This is why you have to continually look for early changes in your body, so cancers can be detected early, way before JAK wakes up.

CANCER BUSTING

Scientists are looking at ways to block cancer from being able to read the secret code to metastisize, and are able to turn off gene expression just by stretching the DNA!  By pulling the code longer, it no longer is readable to the cancer.  That is very exciting news indeed.  The problem is that there are other systems that need to read the code to get their job done.  How to selectively block cancer without killing the body is the hard part.  It looks like advanced vitamin and mineral supplementation also may make this process easier as well – check out www.ivitaminscience.com if you want to read more about that.

While some are blocking the code alphabet, other scientists have found a gene called WWP2  that when turned off keeps cancer cells dormant.  Problem is, what happens to the rest of the system when we poison WWP2 – do we get WW2?  Is it just me, or do these pink cancer cells look like the a Victoria Secret bra that Zleta seems to have lost while getting in the glass jar?

Time to continue fighting the BIG C (please do your part and stop smoking), I can’t fix these lips with Juvederm!

Dr. Darrin Frye

News Flash!  “You get smarter the more you walk!”  Brain Size Matters!

 What? 

Scientists have found in a recent study that walking increases the volume and the efficiency of the brain, and also  improves  memory and attention.  New research is focused on why this doesn’t seem to affect blondes in the same way.  Rumor is they are focusing on Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as test subjects.

As little as three hours a week of brisk walking over a period of 6 months  increases blood flow to the the brain and triggers biochemical changes that increase production of new brain neurons.  Stretching , sex, and non-aerobic exercise has no effect on brain size. (obviously, Pamela Anderson and Jenna Jameson)

I calculated it out, that in order to be smarter you need to walk  about 234 miles.  That is 9 marathons!  If you couple this exercise routine with proper diet, human growth hormone, testosterone and other bioidentical hormones, proper vitamins and minerals http://www.ivitaminscience.com you might be invited to MENSA in less than 6 months!  No doubt you would be much smarter!

Suggestion to US  Senate, Congress, and Capital Hill:  You all need to Take a hike!  Sen. Harry Reed, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and President Obama especially!  From Wash DC to New York City is about 230 miles – so I suggest you all get walking!  After getting your necessary brain boost,  throw out the current socialized medicine bill, and start over, working with the Republicans, and physician experts (not personal injury lawyers) to get a upgrade to the private health care system that already is the finest in the world. 

Don’t Tread on Me Time,

Dr Frye

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