Pain in the Butt
Poop Dermatitis Linked to Fashionable Toilet Seats, Harsh Chemicals!
Jessica Alba – wedgy in edgy
Toilet seat dermatitis is one of those legendary conditions described in medical textbooks and seen in underdeveloped countries, but now we are seeing it in the most exclusive backsides in the States. Jessica, watch where you sit, you might get a poop rash!
One of culprits responsible for the butt condition are harsh cleaning chemicals and exotic wooden toilet seats — making a comeback as bathroom décor — especially seats covered with varnishes and paints. You can get a rash on your butt just looking at this picture! (Is that a cupholder?)
Most butt rash cases are fairly benign and easy to treat with topical steroids, but inflammation can persist and spread further, causing painful and itchy skin eruptions. Persistently irritated skin is vulnerable to bacteria and may lead to more serious infections requiring oral antibiotics. My advice to women – HOVER!
To prevent toilet-seat dermatitis Kelsey Grammer is rubbing lotion all over Kayte Walsh’s British bottom. Recommend you eat a dry cracker before looking at this couple, to reduce the nausea. You don’t ever want to catch the British butt rash, it is much worse than normal rashes, as it can make arse’s a wee bit large and saggy.
Recommendations for a clean, fresh, rash free bottom:
Use paper toilet seat covers in public restrooms, including hospital and school restrooms. Replace wooden toilet seats with plastic ones – but only if it is your bathroom! Clean toilet seats and bowls daily. Avoiding harsh store-brand cleaners, which often contain skin irritants like phenol or formaldehyde. Oh, and women, HOVER – it is a good workout for the thighs anyway.
Stay tuned next week for Puke Rash found on chins and arms of alcoholics who pray to the porcelain god.
Time to leave the seat up,