Pain in the Butt

Poop Dermatitis Linked to Fashionable Toilet Seats, Harsh Chemicals!

Jessica Alba – wedgy in edgy

Toilet seat dermatitis is one of those legendary conditions described in medical textbooks and seen in underdeveloped countries, but now we are seeing it in the most exclusive backsides in the States.  Jessica, watch where you sit, you might get a poop rash!

One of culprits responsible for the butt condition are harsh cleaning chemicals and exotic wooden toilet seats — making a comeback as bathroom décor — especially seats covered with varnishes and paints.  You can get a rash on your butt just looking at this picture!  (Is that a cupholder?) 

Most butt rash cases are fairly benign and easy to treat with topical steroids, but inflammation can persist and spread further, causing painful and itchy skin eruptions. Persistently irritated skin is vulnerable to bacteria and may lead to more serious infections requiring oral antibiotics.  My advice to women – HOVER!

To prevent toilet-seat dermatitis Kelsey Grammer is rubbing lotion all over Kayte Walsh’s British bottom.   Recommend you eat a dry cracker before looking at this couple, to reduce the nausea.  You don’t ever want to catch the British butt rash, it is much worse than normal rashes, as it can make arse’s a wee bit  large and saggy. 

Recommendations for a clean, fresh, rash free bottom:

Use  paper toilet seat covers in public restrooms, including hospital and school restrooms.  Replace wooden toilet seats with plastic ones – but only if it is your bathroom!  Clean toilet seats and bowls daily.   Avoiding harsh store-brand cleaners, which often contain skin irritants like phenol or formaldehyde.  Oh, and women, HOVER – it is a good workout for the thighs anyway.

Stay tuned next week for Puke Rash found on chins and arms of alcoholics who pray to the porcelain god.

Time to leave the seat up,

Dr. Frye

SAVE YOUR SKIN – SAVE YOUR ASS!

Blue or Green Eyed Blonds be careful and protect your rear end!  For you are at the highest risk for skin cancers – just ask Asa at www.finest.se/asavesterlund , or read http://www.aftonbladet.se/nojesbladet/article8464803.ab.

It’s the UVA and UVB rays that cause the problem, and a lot of sunscreens block only one of the two.  More importantly, the sunscreen must be applied often since sweat and water renders it ineffective as it leaves the surface of the skin.  Even “waterproof” blockers don’t stay on well.

Chloe Sevigny and Marc Jacobs support melanoma research showing the biggest organ is indeed, your skin, and it needs to be protected!  Any volunteers to help Chloe protect her skin better?

Be Very Shallow!

Only the smallest and most shallow melanomas can be cured by surgery alone, so early diagnosis is very important.  If the skin cancer is deeper than 4 mm or the lymph nodes have cancer, there is a high risk of the cancer spreading to other tissues and organs.

Young Muslim girls sport special head-to-toe swim suits dubbed ‘burkinis’ which are good for modesty, and skin protection.  But even this swimwear doesn’t block all UV rays!  Experts say a dry white cotton T-shirt has an SPF of 7, and that wet it is SPF 5. Heavier, darker garments like burkinis can provide more protection than a wet T-shirt, but still not as much as you might think.

Wet T Shirt Winner 1950

Sometimes, I just wish there was more sunscreen, rather than coconut oil, back in the day.  (I am not sure the white earrings go with the saggy outfit)  Do you think the club bracelet means this is a walk of shame from a one-nighter?

Time to lather up with at least SPF 1000,

Dr. Frye

Claudia Schiffer

The bodacious German supermodel eats salad and steamed vegetables for dinner and eats only fruits before the afternoon. While on locations, she prefers to eat black grapes and drinks tomato juice and herbal tea.  Maybe the tomatoes are partially responsible for her amazing looks?

Lycopene, which is what makes tomatoes red, is nature’s most powerful antioxidant; studies have shown that increased lycopene consumption can lead to decreased risks of heart disease as well as certain types of cancers, including breast, prostate, and colorectal and may also lower the amount of LDL or “bad” cholesterol.  No word on whether it makes your hair blond, curly, and sexy.

Tomato juice can, however,  significantly increase the presence of cell-protecting antioxidants that help to fight against skin aging  and osteoporosis, according to new research.  Researchers claim that 30mg of lycopene found in tomatoes – the equivalent to two glasses of tomato juice – is enough to help prevent the brittle-bone disease.  Novel skin creams  that have lycopene in them are also on the market designed to keep you looking Claudia young!

More than 45,000 people from all over the world descend each year on the small Valencian town of Bunol, Spain to participate in the La Tomatina festival, where over 100 tons of rotten and over-ripe tomatoes make quite a lycopene mess.  No word on whether the veggie feast makes people younger, but maybe it makes people immature?

Tomatoes may be toxic to most dogs..

Most dogs can eat a hamburger in one bite easily.  But instead of wolfing down a standard quarter pounder, many carefully lift off the tomatoes slices, and then devour it.  They seem to sense that they shouldn’t eat the tomatoes.  Toxic?  Well, I know of some dogs that do eat tomatoes and they seem to like them and do ok.  I suggest you be careful with your hairy friends and let them get their lycopene another way.

Time to “catchup” on things,

Dr. Frye

Research showed a 69% boost to testosterone – the male sex hormone by being in sunlight. In America as winter begins, there is a dip noticed in both supply of Vitamin D and testosterone which continues till March.  So it is important to get enough sun if you want to have great erections and awesome sex!  Studies now suggest that Vitamin D, and frequent sex may prevent prostate cancer!  The second part of that duo happens to be my most frequently requested prescription.

Swedish women are some of the most beautiful women in the world

The rest of the world has a similar story, but even more intense is the winter in Northern Sweden, where winter lasts 7 months, with two months where the sun never rises above the horizon!  Perhaps these girls are trying to make up for lost sun time – they need testosterone and vitamin D too!  Did you know that we can get boost a girl’s testosterone levels with a prescription cream which can really make a big difference in the bedroom, bathroom, hallway, den, dining room!, wherever?  Well, we can and we call it the “scream cream.” (you figure it out!)  So girls, don’t wait for midsummer – you can put that spice in your life for all seasons!  Get rubbing – and go clubbing!

Sometimes, it is best for all concerned, to just keep the clothes on, and take a supplement. The best one on the market has to be IVitaminScience’s custom vitamin and mineral, at www.ivitaminscience.com. This couple might also want to visit Palm Beach Preventive Medicine – www.pbpmed.com to get on an HCG diet program!

Time to get back in the sun, after I finish throwing up.

Dr. Darrin Frye

Testosterone and Vitamin Master MD

To all the ladies and men out there who find themselves up against the clock of aging, seeing all those facial lines and creases appearing out of nowhere – it is time to fight back! I remember a time when I worked for a greeting card company and the biggest selling card was a birthday one.. It said, “May the bluebird of happiness…..crap all over your birthday cake!” That was over 40 years ago, and maybe we should update the message to appeal to today’s audience. ” May the nightingale of the Bronx…..crap all over your face!” They can, and do now, in spas across the Nation- and it will cost you $180 to have it happen.

Based on a traditional skin care secret practiced by the beautiful Geisha of Japan, this “bird poop” facial combines powdered nightingale droppings (generally sanitized using uv technology) and Japanese rice bran. This unique mix both exfoliates and lightens dark areas of the face and more is known as the “Geisha facial” which sounds more polite than “poop facials.”

Nightingale dropping based ingredients are also called, “uguisu-no-fun” and can be used as a makeup remover. Celebrities, like Posh Spice use the uguisu to have fun, and to brighten, heal and retexturize her skin due to natural enzymes and guanine, which imparts a pearly luster to the skin.

David likes hard body Posh with soft bright skin. While it is nice to have even, bright skin, it is more important to get moisture into the deeper epidermal layer, and also restore the collagen support structure that presses the skin tight from below. I will cover several interesting skin treatments in upcoming blogs, but I must say the most important thing is to get to the collegen. We do this with fillers like Restylane and Perlane, and also with Human Growth Hormone (HGH) Replacement therapy. Of course, it is important to also get some Botox now and again too. The long term solution is vitamins and human growth hormone. I will go into these in upcoming blogs as well, but if you want to read about it try www.pbpmed.com or www.nationwidesi.com, and www.ivitaminscience.com for excellent resources. HGH would sure help David heel that achilles….

So next time a flock of birds fly over, don’t just look up, grab a cup!

Dr. Darrin Frye, the TimeMasterMD

Goat milk has long been regarded as the ultimate skin luxury, making it good for the body inside and out! Goat milk is full of tons of calcium so it is good for the bones and the behind! It is said that Cleopatra’s beauty secret was bathing in goat milk.

Karolina Kurkova has great skin and looks great from the front to the behind! She must be swimming in milk! Goat milk is nourishing because it has more vital vitamins and triglycerides (fats) than either cow’s milk or water. It is packed with vitamins A, B, C & D as well as protein, calcium, potassium and magnesium.

Goat milk is gentle because it has a pH level that is closest to that of our skin which is very soothing. (Especially when you are bathing in it!) Goat milk is moisturizing because its short-strand protein structure allows it to be easily absorbed , and is really good for dry and sensitive skin.

Goat milk contains Caprylic Acid which maintains this low alkalinity and there are many other natural ways to increase this acid too - mainly by taking supplements www.ivitaminscience.com and by eating healthy fruits (like coconuts and red apples).  

Any suggestions for who you might want to see in a red applesauce bath? You may want to try that out at home with your special someone! Tell them, “Doctor’s Orders!” And for those who are wondering what happened to the horns on this goat, read my blog on “Horny Goat Weed!”

Time for milk mustaches all,

Dr. Darrin Frye – the TimeMasterMD

Tommy Lee gave Pamela Anderson three things, but only two were wanted:  Brandon and Dylon, their two sons.  Unfortunately, the third was Hepatitis C, allegedly.

Former Baywatch star, and former Playboy Playmate, Pamela Anderson is one of the most recognized celebrities that has been diagnosed with  hepatitis C, which can be a  deadly liver disease.  Hepatitis C  is a real epidemic, far worse than any swine flu, as 270-300 million people worldwide are infected!  She says she was infected by sharing a tattoo needle with her ex-husband, rock musician Tommy Lee.    People with tattoos are 9 times more likely to be infected with hepatitis C, according to a Texas physician.  My advice is to avoid sharing anything with anyone in a rock band, especially if they have over 12 tattoos on their body!  Hepatitis C is spread by infected blood and infected needles, which is the virus’ connection with tattooing. Tattoos involve lots of needles making lots of sticks in the skin. Each stick carries potential for contamination — and not just with hepatitis, but also HIV, the virus that causes AIDS — if the needles and the “tattoo machine” are not sterilized properly.

Katie Perry got a strawberry tattoo on her ankle - thank God this one on her chest isn’t real!

Back to the heavy stuff.  What happens when you get hepatitis C?  Your liver is placed under a lot of excess stress and the cells suffer injury.  As their tasks mount, and their ability to function wains, it is possible for a massive amount of bilirubin to build up in the bloodstream.  When this begins to happen, you first might notice icteris, or “yellow eyes”.  It gets worse with time, and can be very serious if the disease is left unchecked.

Icteris – a yellowing of the sclera of the eyes

About 75% of people infected with hepatitis C will develop a long-term infection that attacks the liver, leading to cirrhosis, liver failure, and liver cancer at an early age. So, there has always been a big need for treatment that works.  Some advances have occurred with pharmaceuticals, but there are many associated risks and problems with the available treatments, mainly side effects and prohibitive costs.

It is exciting when new research comes out demonstrating natural cures and remedies – especially for Hepatitis C  (we don’t have a shot to prevent Hep C)

Witch Hazel Botanical Sweeps in to the Rescue!

Amazing Discovery – Witch Hazel combats Hepatitis C virus! 

The antibacterial, antifungal, and antiviral properties of witch hazel are probably a function of the leaf’s essential oil content,  combined with the tannic acid.  Like echinacea, but to a lesser degree, witch hazel inhibits the enzyme hyaluronidase, and thereby increases the body’s ability to resist the invasion of infectious organisms and the spreading of malignant cancers too.  New research suggests that blueberries also contain a similar substance the demonstrates antiviral effects similar to witch hazel. 

Pamela, there is reason to be hopeful, but you need to do 3 preventive measures asap.  1. Run as far as you can from Tommy  2.  Eat a ton of blueberries  3.  Fill up your body with witch hazel instead of silicone

Botanicals are better than bucket of medications, and it is exciting to see the research sustantiating the claims and notions that foods are indeed the best medicine. 

It’s Always Healing Time Somewhere,

Dr. Frye

http://trollydolly.us/?p=5626

Smoking – Glamorous?  Don’t think so. 

Doctors have long since known that smoking was bad, leading to heart disease, and cancer.  But what is shocking is that women appear to be more vulnerable than men to the cancer-causing effects of smoking tobacco.  Low tar, low nicotine, or filtered products makes no difference either.   Swiss scientists found women tended to be younger when they developed the cancer, despite having smoked on average significantly less than men.  Of course, we know that pregnant women deliver smaller, more sickly babies when they smoke during gestation, but it goes much farther than that.

Models who smoke to keep thin, won’t have to worry that much as they won’t be modeling long.

“Our findings suggest that women may have an increased susceptibility to tobacco carcinogens,” reported Dr Martin Frueh.  If you have ever said, “I don’t buy cigarettes, I just bum them once in a while”  – take a second and look in the mirror, because that beautiful skin you have is going to look like a Boston Red Sox Catchers mitt before you know it unless you stop smoking.  Also, why buy organic foods or hormone free milk when smoking is 1000 times worse than any pesticide or pollutant?

It used to be cool and fun for girls to smoke together, but nobody is laughing now.

“In the early 1900s lung cancer was reported to be rare in women, but in the last 40 years it has progressively reached epidemic proportions, becoming the leading cause of cancer deaths among women in the United States,” Dr Felip said.  “Lung cancer is not only a man’s disease, but women tend to be much more aware of other cancers, such as breast cancer,” she said. “Several case-control studies seem to suggest that women are more vulnerable to tobacco carcinogens than men.”

Smoking ain’t exactly a beauty secret.  Don’t kid yourself, she still thinks smoking isn’t all that bad.  The real epidemic in the world isn’t the swine flu, it is cigarette smoking. 

3 people died from smoking in the time it took you read this blog.

Time to be just smoking hot girls, and not smoking, please.

Dr. Frye

http://trollydolly.us/?p=5596

Algae makes you feel good inside and on the outside too!  But, it can be really stinky!

A new carotenoid has received much attention lately – astaxanthin.   It would be what’s known as a vitamin light-  chemically, astaxanthin is classified as a non-provitamin A.  It is a fat-soluble nutrient and excellent antioxidant.  The richest source of astaxanthin by far is the algae Haemococcus pluvialis.  In skin treatment salons, algae is not only an exfoliant that cleans pores and scrubs off dead skin, but acts as a prime source of dermal nutrients. 

This dietary supplement is a therapeutic tool for a variety of conditions and diseases, including heart disease, immune problems, inflammation states,  and neuro-degenerative issues – such as dementia.   When compared with vitamin E , astaxanthin’s antioxidant potential was from approximately 80 times to as much as 550 times greater!  

Astaxanthin provides the rich pink color observed in various aquatic species including the salmonids (e.g., salmon) and crustaceans (e.g., crabs, lobster, shrimp), and even some nonaquatic species such as the flamingo (whose diet includes some astaxanthin-producing organisms). You’ll never see a pink flamingo getting a heart bypass.

It has been reported that Posh Spice is living on a diet of soya edamame beans, strawberries and lettuce and drinking 2 pints of algae and a seaweed shake every day.  Posh, there’s no Astaxanthin in that diet coke in the fridge, and what happened to that breast job?  Better eat some lobster with those beans and salad!

Time is pink and green sometimes,

Dr. Frye

http://trollydolly.us/?p=5586

 Chlorine Killing the Dew?

You may need a “golden shower”!?!    (No, not that kind- perverts, vitamin showers, and peeing in the shower doesn’t count)

The Vitamin C  “Golden Shower”

These novel showerheads contains pharmaceutical-grade Vitamin C in the shower filter, making it a natural and environmentally safe way to remove chlorine from tap water.  Taking chlorine out of your water and out of your hair keeps your locks looking good, feeling soft and healthy too.  Since hair is still part of our skin, chlorine can literally “rust” our hair leaving it brittle and lifeless – plus it can cause dandruff. 

Chlorine has been used in water purification in drinking water,  and swimming pools for a long time.  It has improved water quality by killing germs that cause illness, and has done more for public health than almost any program so far.  It is a cheap method, but unfortunately it leaves residues that can be bothersome and maybe even bad for us.  Vitamin C can eliminate the residual and keep us healthy in more ways than one.

No longer do you have to worry about that expensive set of highlights turning into a yellow – orange colored bleached out  blond mess!  Start singing in the shower again with Vit C, instead of crying those brassy blues.

Dr. Frye